So yea

I’m getting there…

God It really does take a while to heal after something falls apart… I know it wasn’t much to begin with but still when you’re working with a concept you can’t help but make it feel perfect as there are no confines… so yea it’s a total dream world… as I try and move on and keep busy and not dwell on it too much I surprise myself just how much of an effort this has been. I think I’ve figured out why… I think I was looking for an escape from London… a good branch to help me make the leap to Spain that I’ve been wanting to do for a while… a relief from the grind of big city living… so I guess it’s not so much him that I’m grieving over… more so the lost of this quick bridge over to one of my life goals… ever a fantasy it was that I would achieve this change via a relationship. In the end I know it’s a good thing, as it’s very unlike me to try and lean on someone else to achieve something… guess this just proved that the minute I try and lean… I fall right out of the branch. I’m better off doing it on my own… less regrets, and more certainty.

Still, I find it kind of sad that I was fooled by what I thought was love… how wrong I was… so yea… maybe it’s that, that’s making it so rotten.

Jo says it karma

And as I’ve written before… karma is sweet… except for when it’s the bitter pill you’ve got to swallow.